Losowe angielskie dowcipy
How to play golf ->
A woman is learning how to golf. She has been teaching herself to play for more than three months and she is really bad. She decides to consult a golf pro. When she sees the golf pro, she explains how bad she is and he tells her to go ahead and hi... [ca造 ->]
Miracle Diet! ->
A fellow was ordered by his Dr. to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it,he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. "Guaranteed like hell" he thought to hi... [ca造 ->]
She's not a babe, she's... ->
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. She does not TEASE or... [ca造 ->]
Line Dancing ->
What's 30 feet long and smells like urine? A country line dance at the nursing home!... [ca造 ->]
Quickie ->
You know you've been married too long when a "Quickie" before dinner now means a drink.... [ca造 ->]
George W and the VP... ->
George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, "I hate all the dumb George W. jokes people tell about me." Wise Old Cheney, feeling sorry for his old boss kid, said sage-like, "Oh, they are only jokes. Th... [ca造 ->]
Blue Elephants ->
1. How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. 2. How do you kill a pink elephant? Twist his nose until he turns blue and then use the blue elephant gun.... [ca造 ->]
Donald Duck ->
Donald Duck walked into a drugstore & asked for a packet of condoms. "Certainly, sir" said the lady behind the counter, "shall I put them on your bill?" "NO WAY!" replied Donald Duck, "What do you think I am, a Dickhead?!" ... [ca造 ->]
Scooby Doobie Boobies! ->
A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your breasts and say, '"Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies.'" She did this every... [ca造 ->]
4 new fathers ->
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man, "Congratulations, sir. You're the father of twins!" "What a coincidence! I work for the M... [ca造 ->]
We got a lot of those ->
Three cowboys, a Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian, were sitting around a campfire smoking, drinking and having a good time. The Texan takes a full bottle of the finest tequila, throws it up in the air and shoots it to pieces. The Californian an... [ca造 ->]
The overweight blonde ->
A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks." He said. "The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds." When th... [ca造 ->]
Snail Beer ->
A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and throws him out. A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says... 'What did you do that for!'... [ca造 ->]
Two In One Grave? ->
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied... [ca造 ->]
Yo mamma's so fat! ->
Yo mamma's so fat the cops had to use "The Jaws of life" to get her INTO her car!... [ca造 ->]